S2E14: “I’m damn near eighty!”

Day 14: Sept 23, 2023
Belleville, IL

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It’s been a number of years since we’ve attended a wedding.

In addition to seeing the immediate family, we’re invited to Jen’s cousin’s wedding, which by proxy includes spending time with extended family.

Even counting the lost pandemic years, I haven’t seen my mother-in-law’s side of the family since 2017. During the pandemic, we lost two Uncle Mikes to health issues unrelated to covid. Today is a gathering of celebration, but for us a tinge of sadness hovers in the background. Both Uncle Mikes are absent, including one who isn’t here to walk his youngest daughter down the aisle. Regardless, their presence and memory live on.

Jen’s mom has four sisters, The Bailey Sisters. They are an amazingly tight-knit crew who all live near each other and gather regularly. When I first met them, they would quiz me on who was who, given their similarity in mannerisms and readily apparent resemblance. It was a great running joke. They accepted me with open arms, and the energy and joy they exude is palpable. The collection of memories of times shared with everyone is highly cherished, particularly for Jen. All the Christmases, weddings, Fourth of July gatherings, etc., she recounts is from a place of deep appreciation and fondness.

Laura and Jason exchange nuptials, and the night loosens up, as drinks flow for most (soda water for us nondrinkers). The cousins haven’t been in a room together since December 2018. Despite this time apart, the banter is nonstop and boisterous — a comfortable discourse that is clearly inherited from their respective mothers.

In the middle of the evening, the matriarch Aunt Kathy approaches Jen, asking if she’s 50 years old. Exclamations and loud hilarity ensue, with Jen’s mom telling her to do the math. Aunt Kathy can’t be bothered to subtract the years, so Jen sets the record straight (she’s 46). She then fake storms off, proclaiming, “Well, I’m damn near eighty!” A true you-had-to-be-there moment.

I can see that Jen is a glue here. She engages with everyone, and I join in on some conversations with the cousins I know a bit better. Despite time and distance, the blood still runs thick.

This event feels special on multiple levels, some celebratory, some reflective. The theme of time is discussed — we all agree it truly speeds up. Whenever the five sisters advise us to live fully, I can only hope we are doing just that. I remark to Jen that you never know when you might see someone for the last time. We certainly couldn’t predict our final goodbyes to the Uncle Mikes would actually be more than five years ago.

Tonight, we’re grateful to be together. Tonight, we’re both glad we made the trip.

PS. On this day, 19 years ago, Jen and I went on our first date.