Notes at 45

As I sit squarely in my mid-40s, I’ve gained valuable perspectives, learnings, and understandings. Here are some of them:

• People > things. In our current society, the deepening pit of materialism, capitalism, and an insatiable desire for more has become all-consuming. However, it’s our real-life connections with people that bring the greatest returns. Loved ones, family, and close friends are the ones who matter most.
• Less is more. I’ve come to realize that I need even less than I previously thought I did.
• The uniform. I’ve entered the “uniform” stage of my life. My wardrobe mostly consists of black and natural colors. I have a standard set of clothes that I wear and take everywhere. There’s little mental overhead to consider since they all pair well, and I know how to recombine them for a fresh look each day.
• Seek joy. With experience, my threshold and criteria for tolerating BS have become sharper. Now, I opt for joy, delight, or energy, and I know what I like, enjoy, and love more than ever.
• Give energy. I love spending time with those who give me energy. I don’t want to be an energy taker or robber in return, and I hope to give as much as I take. I’ve observed that younger generations demand and require a lot. It’s not necessarily a criticism, but rather a reflection of the multi-generational shift shaped by technology, social media, and an ever-crushing society that puts pressure on people.
• Listen. In conversations, I find comfort in silence and always redirect the conversation if I find myself talking too much or for too long. Listening is becoming a lost art, and it’s essential to maintain our ability to do so.
• Heed your elders. I’m fortunate to have had various mentors and people who’ve been doing things longer than I have. Yet, I still feel there’s much to learn from those with more life or work experience than I have.
• Rest is essential. At this stage in life, my mind wants to do more than my body can handle. It’s a marathon phase, and I’ve learned that your teens, 20s, and 30s are about the sprint. With experience and intelligence, you can make things work for you. However, it’s important to make time to rest and reflect, both physically and mentally, to yield higher gains.
• Act and think with intent. By now, you should have the innate ability to know how and what you need or want to do with conviction and intention.
• Carry less. Most people aren’t a significant factor in your life, and it’s essential not to give them any weight.
• Find the line. When you’re too close to something, it’s challenging to see the path in front of you. It takes discipline, distance, or the perspectives of others to help you find it.